18th & 19th century erotica, adventures on the high sea, ambition, art history, ascots, avacado, baby elephants, bow ties, caesar salad, cats, cold beverages without ice, dandys, dogs, eye contact, fashion, formality, fur, gatorade, Gnostisism, good lighting, hate, hintmag.com, ideals, japanese eye drops, labrenths, lip balm, love, manners, ME, meat, midnight mass, minions who carry clip boards, monicles, museums, nautical stripes, Oprah style surprises, orange dream machine, protein, puppys, spats, SPF 30, spurs, thankyou notes, the consumption of baked goods, The New Yorker, the shroud of Turin, when my plastic surgon says that I am coming along verr, white pants, white shoes, work ethic

I don`t wanna be packaged in a holiday resort. I don`t wanna be caught up in a marketing format. I don`t wanna live up to some dorky
stereotype. I am a dynamic figure, often scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo men & women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. When I`m bored I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don`t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I run the 100m in 9.56 secs. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me.